we have officially mastered the walk of shame
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
