I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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