When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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