Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
