Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
