thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
