so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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