How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
