at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
