"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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