Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
