now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
