She announced her abortion via fbk
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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