Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
