woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
