I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
