Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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