Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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