im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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