I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
