Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize