her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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