I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
