She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
