i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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