why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
