So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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