dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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