So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
