Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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