Don't you send me to vm
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
