that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize