So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
