Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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