dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
