you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
