I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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