Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
