Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
