She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
