Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have tasted many bathrooms
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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