My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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