ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
