so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
