wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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