I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
