Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize