Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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