Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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