WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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