i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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