explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
