How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
