I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize