well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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