I skipped work to stalk him.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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