Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Every concussion has its silver lining
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
