a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize