I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
