This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
